Its Autumn once again, and again I find myself wondering why I haven't done this/that. Because I sat on my ass, mourning the loss of my former life. The High Holidays have come and gone again and I can see not just the passage of time, but some healing in my heart.
So I move on. The kids are now in a lovely school and are happy little clams. They attend religious school and are making friends right and left. They are reasonably secure in their surroundings and while they too still mourn the breakdown of our family, we move on.
This Autumn I find myself reaffirming my goals and desires to have it all. I want a successful garden, not a half-assed one. I hate grocery stores and find myself participating in bulk buys direct from farmers. I do not like full store prices, though I certainly understand that they must share the costs of the electricity and floor space. I'd really rather just grow what I want. Which means actually doing it, not sitting around thinking about it - which I must say, I am really excellent at. (I'm also really good at ending sentences with prepositions.)
So I set before me some goals for this year:
work and maintain a 4 season garden
lose weight
get healthier & exercise more
maintain a certain level of class - no gossiping for the sake of knocking someone down, no flying off in anger because I haven't read something fully
getting more involved with life in general
cleaning the yard, house, and garage out
cooking rather than buying so much junk - as in preparing our own snacks and pizza dough and having it ready to use rather than last minute "I'm starving" leading to poor choices.
setting up systems for paying bills, kids schedules, gardening, writing, learning
Somehow in all of this, I am taking 3 classes (at home), teaching 2, and trying to figure out how to earn some real money. And all of it will get tossed in the air when I *hopefully* return to school full time next fall. Keep fingers crossed.
