So many years ago, when I went to college, I had a crew. My mates and I were united by many things - The Doors, the Grateful Dead, black lights, and all the things associated with these treasures. We played video games and were trying to grow up as best we could while studying or working. We did some things that I'm not particularly proud of, and at times I do wonder if my sins of this past aren't what haunt me today. But my mates were tight.
My pals were all guys. They had gone to high school together (I had actually gone to jr high with some of them). My boyfriend and I met them through his work and we fit right in. Sometimes girlfriends hung out too, but not like me. I was just one of the guys. Which was fine with me. I liked having all of these big brothers/friends. I felt safe.
And in the big world that we live in, which is in fact really small, my life has taken me far away from home and to a new city which I love. Over the years we lost touch and through the magic we call Facebook, I have reconnected with my crew. And I am ever so grateful. But I have missed out on a friend's pain and for that I am saddened.
This morning his mom passed away.
She mostly existed in anecdote. Tales my friend would tell of the woman who made his life better, worse, indifferent. But she loved him and that's more than anyone can ask for. She made my friend and his sister. And they are pretty remarkable people today, from what I can tell - I don't see them anymore and haven't in many years. But I watch their children grow via the internet and I am glad that they have found spouses and made babies. They are successful in their careers and have hopefully found a permanent happiness for a while. Some good years in the life of ups and downs.
So I raise a toast to his Mom and the spark of memory. I would not be who I am today without this friend. And that means that I would not be who I am today without her. Thanks Gayle. I hope your pain is gone and you can enjoy the kids from a new perspective.
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