Seething

there is no other word that feels right. I woke up angry and ready to battle.

Someone once asked me if I had hit the point of being so angry that I stopped eating. I didn't know if that was an actual step in the letting go process, but I haven't seen it. Tho as I am looking back over the past week I am looking back at my habits and I'll say this much: I'm only eating what I need...and not much more. I have been devastated by loss. And 18 months later I am releasing much of it and moving on finally. The releases are good good good, but fucking painful and worth every step on the journeys path. I can finally see that the emotions letting loose aren't crying from sadness and devastation of being a victim (tho there are moments of that still) but the crying and anger are a purge. Every pore oozes the pain and the pent up frustrations. Every cell is on fire with change and transformation. Metamorphosis of my being. No cockroaches needed.